OCTOBER 11TH ... AT LAST NOT THE TOUGHEST DAY OF THE YEAR … Essay for National Coming Out Day …written in 2015.
When I was a kid I hated Christmas … my first memory was my grandfather’s suicide on December 26th.
For most of my life working in radio/TV Christmas has been just another day at the office.
For the last quarter century, Christmas was surpassed by October 11th … National Coming Out Day.
Fear had a strong hold on me.
My first wife, Janice, more than 10 years older, who I was with for eight years from 19 to 27, knew I was gay almost from the beginning. The first time we talked after we parted she asked, “Have you finally started having sex with men?”
No. I still thought someone or something would make me straight.
Being on radio and then on TV I worried about the effect on my ‘career’.
My confusion was enormous. From the time I was a young teenager, women were always interested in me … a straight man’s dream … I never had to ask a woman out for a date.
God was going to help straighten me out, the hope of so many of my generation.
My local Methodist Church minister suggested that I date a successful local attorney, it was almost a like a direct message from God.
We looked great, the next Valentine’s Day we were the church’s ‘Sweetheart’s of The Year’.
We had an amazing daughter who is now an Ivy League Medical School student, but no matter how hard I tried, no matter how well disguised, I was an actor playing a role … I was not living a life.
The University of Notre Dame would be my salvation. When I was offered a position I was sure my test would soon be over. Being around that much spirituality would ease the endless pain in my soul and make me the straight man that I so wanted to be.
No.
I would like to meet anyone who tried harder to conform to traditional ‘societal norms’. Living an act caused me pain beyond words and did more damage to me as a person and to my career than coming out on TV on the first National Coming Out day on October 11th, 1988 ever could have.
For 20+ years, I tried to convince myself this was the year … it never was.
With a chain of events I never could have predicted, I came out publicly at a Charlottesville, Virginia City Council meeting in March of 2015.
No matter where my life goes from here it was an amazing personal event to openly proclaim what I had known since I was a young child.
No angels sang, Dan Savage didn’t call to congratulate me, but it was more of a relief that I could imagine.
Now my life has taken another amazing turn.
I remain an agnostic, but coming to Las Vegas and meeting my now partner Mark and having him asking me to live and share his life with him is the closest thing to a religious experience I have ever had. (2022 update - We are now into our EIGHTH year together)
We both said, “I have been waiting for you.”
Our life together has been everything I wanted.
Even with the amazing progress made by the many courageous fighters for LGBT rights, America remains a shockingly ‘sex-negative’ society (yet a gun for every man, woman and child is OK) … what so many need, straight or gay, is more sex and family … which can take many forms.
At last fully embracing who I am has had more of a positive impact on me and my mental health than untold hours of therapy and uncountable ‘mental-health’ drugs.
I know from so many MWMs (married white men) and of course it is not only white men, that there are so many men of my generation who are still actors and not being true to themselves.
It is not too late … I’m 56, (OMG ... in 2022 now 63) every day working to make up for lost time, also loving the adventure. I only wish I had the courage to take advantage of National Coming Out Day many years ago.
For the first time in more than a quarter of a century, today on October 11th, I don’t feel like a coward … its great to be able to at last enjoy the day, my amazing partner and community.
Thanks to Mark … maybe this year I’ll have a happy Christmas memory. (And I did!)
Enjoyed HRCs 2015 Coming Out Day Video. Take a look.
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Clyatt.net will always be a work in progress!
BUT … like many good intentions, the work is SLOW … OK there has been no significant update in more than three and half YEARS. Living in Las Vegas can be very … distracting, but ‘soon’.
MAJOR changes are on the way ASAP ... all from the Clyatt.net Studios ... OK it's really an overgrown shed, but great things start small! STAY TUNED!
I have just had too much fun ... sooo it has taken waaay to long for this site to get updated, but that is about to change.
For me 'Home Means Nevada' as I’m in the second half of my FOURTH year in Las Vegas ... seems like four months ...
Pre 'Sin City' … which is in reality, is not that ‘sinful’ … I had two mantras; on good days it was 'NM' - Not Miserable - on bad days, 'My Soul Is On Fire' 🔥
For the last three and a half years it has been an amazing change, most days, I'm not only 'not miserable', but happy 😊 ... what a concept!
While it may still smolder, my soul is no longer on fire.
Until Las Vegas, since I started in the media in 1975 at 16, I was largely hiding in plain sight on radio 📻 and TV 📺..
Too afraid to live the kind of life that has given me the happiness I have now.
My skills allowed me to hide, but hiding only fanned the flames of my soul.
Here in Las Vegas ... I've explored life the way many do years earlier.
Doing everything from; loading trucks, to being a craps dealer, an ice skating guard on The Strip, becoming politically active and more.
I worked on TV in so many places, even on air worldwide 🌍 on CNN ... where the news is NOT fake ... but never really knew most of those communities anywhere close to way that I know Las Vegas.
Hey it is Vegas ... so more than most places, who can tell what tomorrow will hold, but at last I feel like I am home and my passion for Southern Nevada and the excitement of being here continues to be just as intense as when I stepped off my $36 flight from Philadelphia in August of 2015.
I've now reached a point where I may have had enough of 'real life', even though I gained so much from the jobs I've held ... or in the case of working for FedEx for all of the weight I lost ... all experiences that I wish I had much earlier, but now because of them and what I have learned about Las Vegas, I could do an even better job back in the world of media.
I may have temporarily left the media in the USA, but not in Australia 🇦🇺. Even during my life exploration here in Nevada I have continued my work providing USA news and commentary to radio stations in Australia, a position I have held continuously since 2002 ... the 'butterfly effect' in full effect, a job I got thanks to a sports sex scandal.
Click below for a taste of some of some of recent work, thanks to 6PR, Perth, Western Australia for providing the web page;
Kirk Clyatt - USA Report on 6PR
I'm unique, so is my demo, it is a ‘bio demo’ to give you some idea of how I got here - Phone number and email have changed, a great Vegas number 🎲 702-929-7777 🎰 and my name is my email; Kirk@Clyatt. NET - of course there is much more of my work for you to sample;
For TELEVISION; demos that are a bit more traditional;
General Assignment Reporting Composite
Emmy Nominated Feature Reporting Demo
Unedited ... last three days on CBS21, Harrisburg, PA
Plus something for slow news days, Waterbeds For Cows
As an FYI; While working in Baltimore I was the only Maryland anchor to win multiple National Capital Emmys for Weathercasting.
Was flown to Hollywood in 2015 to be a reality show cast member, cut at the last moment, I cried … life went on. Their requested demo that started it all;
FOR RADIO:
And a couple of ‘old school’ airchecks before TV took me away;
Hard to believe when I was a kid I used to have my own Cessna 172 ... now I'm such a homebody, I'm only looking for media or political opportunities in Las Vegas ... and maybe Southern California.
Thanks again for taking a look … your comments, suggestions and advice are welcome and encouraged.
Professional references are available.
Below the icons link to; Twitter - @Clyatt, Soundcloud, Vimeo, YouTube and Facebook
And of course, we have a page for our ten backyard Pekin Ducks;
DucksInTheDesert.com (Soon to return)
I'd love hearing from you; Kirk@Clyatt.net 702-929-7777
THANKS for taking a look at Version 1.2.6, last updated February 9, 2019